Ashley And Chris

The Bachelorette Drives Me to Drink, But Bentley is Coming Back!

We start our painful two hours with Chris Harrison reminding us Ashley is serious about finding love, and that he is the most useless man on television.  He tells the guys they going to Thailand. Their excitement at the trip is much bigger than finding out who the bachelorette was.

We see Ashley on the beach and she is telling us she really misses Bentley and wishes he was with her.  I swear, this chick is a lunatic and why they picked her will never make sense to me.  Her laugh is nails on a chalkboard and my new thing is to watch it muted with subtitles.

She is going on and on about how she needs to open her heart to love, and all I can think about is what a drag it is that Bentley left, and how many glasses of wine I will need to get through the show.  Glass one is poured, and hopefully will not impair my reading the subtitles.

Constantine gets the first private date that Ashley is trying to tell us she planned all by herself.  Dear Lord it’s going to be a long night.  Their boat trip is cancelled due to weather so they walk around the city.  It’s a gorgeous place but I am distracted by how bowlegged Ashley is.

They are having a beer and Ashley is once again picking her teeth with her tongue.  She is going on and on about Bentley.  This chick is the most horrible bachelorette they have ever selected.  Even Alli, who was a nightmare, was better.  These men should pray they go home.

She is at dinner with Constantine and now she won’t stop scratching her head.  This chick needs to brush her teeth, get a toothpick, and wash her hair.  She is telling him that she is insecure and I am simply disgusted with her.  She is in need of some serious therapy because she is a mess.

Constantine is opening up to her and her look of boredom is hilarious.  Poor guy.  There is no chemistry at all between them, which I suppose is why we don’t see a kiss.  It’s group date time, it’s pouring rain, and her outfit is ridiculous.  She is talking about Bentley again.  I’m so over her.

They are working to help out an orphanage that was built after the tsunami and it’s awesome.  The men are all saying it speaks volumes about her as a person that she would pick this as a date.  Really?  She had nothing to do with the selection of this date.  Why is everyone so dumb?

The kids come to see their rooms and I cried.  It was special, and that the show includes these charity angles is lovely.  It does not make us forget they are sleazy pimps for fame whores, but it is still really a wonderful thing that they do, and I congratulate them on this sliver of decency.

Recap: Bentley breaks Ashley's heart on 'The Bachelorette - HitFix

So tonight is the night when the wagon goes off the rails on “The Bachelorette,” as we’ve been warned that Bentley, unable to face to prospect of hot sex in exotic locales with a woman as unappealingly devoted as Ashley, is taking off. I hope he’s accomplished his goal of… promoting his business? Unless his business involves stealing candy from babies or, maybe, working for Goldman Sachs, I can’t imagine lots of people line up to hire lying scumbags who squish big-eyed Disney forest creatures for kicks. This is like waiting around for someone to kick Bambi in the head.  

Well, things start off well enough. Ben C. is the recipient of the week’s first one-on-one date. He can’t wait to start his journey to love! Ben C. strikes me as being very, very enthusiastic and very, very out of touch with the day-to-day reality of relationships. Ashley takes Ben C. to a dance studio to show him some dance steps, giggling devilishly knowing that she’ll soon surprise him with a flash mob at the Americana mall in Glendale. Watching Ashley dance, Ben C. thinks he could marry this girl. He feels so close to her after twenty minutes! To get the flash mob started, Ashley forces Ben C. to stand up in the middle of the mall and start performing the routine she taught him. He’s uncomfortable! But he’ll do anything for love. Oh, Ben C., you hopeless romantic. Sure, some guys step into the path of moving cars or pick up a girl at the airport, but you step out of your comfort zone! After Flash Mob America does their thing and disperses, Ashley and Ben C. are treated to a performance by Far East Movement. I love Far East Movement because they bridge the fashion gap between mafioso, Wall Street and streetwear. Not many guys could rock a Mohawk and a bowtie. Just saying. Time to dine, and Ben C. is still prattling on about love. He wants to live in an unrealistic, idealistic bubble of love. Why not, he wonders. Because that’s incredibly difficult to maintain, that’s why, Ben. But that’s what Ashley wants, too. Ashley is seeing his sincerity. Kisses. She feels a heart flutter. She needs to trust, even though he could break her heart. Oh, Ashley, this sap is not the one you have to worry about. Meanwhile, creepy mask guy Jeff has decided he is going to pull Ashley aside when she comes to the house so he can take off his mask! Finally! He says wearing the mask has been a life-changing experience.

Breakfast with Kijm, Ashley, and Chris! Goin in at 10:00.

Me and Chris... *Grins* Well, Ashley... Has agreed to being our surrogate. We're getting our baby!

Enjoying the Rest of My Night With Quiana,Ashley,Diamond,domo,Chris,Trece,and Both Dae Daes <3 :D

Time for some Chris Scott Hip Hop with Ashley and Chris. The storyline is that they both cheated. !

lol ohk .. Ill call you Ashley .. Haha im finna @ chris and tell him to follow us LMAO

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