See Through Swimsuit

Kate Upton Is The Woman of Summer 2011

Most supermodels don't get the super part till later. But Kate Upton, as you may notice under your coffee table over there, was on the cover of Sports Illustrated 's swimsuit issue when she was barely old enough to vote. Over in the corner, but still — in body paint, and in short order for a Midwestern horseback-riding champion and niece of a Congressman turned Internet sensation and maybe ( but not really ) ladyfriend of Kanye West. Esquire.com caught up with her last week, as she was walking through a rainstorm, wearing white, on the eve of her nineteenth birthday. Don't feel weird — she's all woman.

ESQUIRE: So, let's talk about breasts. As someone who's known for hers — along with that unforgiving charm and irresistible smile — you're something of an expert. What is it about breasts? I mean, even Medieval sculptors considered breasts to be the ultimate body part. Why not, like, the elbow?

KATE UPTON: I don't really know what the appeal is about... boobs. But I do know that when I was in junior high, I used to be made fun of — for being flat-chested. Everyone would go, "She's not pretty! She doesn't have boobs!" So I always had boob envy. And when finally I went through my growth spurt, and they appeared, and I just... I loved them. So that's why I like boobs, because I didn't have them, and then I got 'em. So I dunno what the appeal is for you —

ESQ: I suppose it's because we don't get 'em.

KU: Guess you guys have boob envy, too.

ESQ: Speaking of breasts and things men can't do, men can't really do this dance you've become famous for, The Dougie , quite as effectively without them. But what's one dance that a man can do — were he to, say, run into you at a club — that would actually impress you?

KU: I think as long as you look like your having a good time, I'm impressed. Because I have a lot of energy, and I like being around it all the time. If you're just sitting in the corner, I probably won't notice you.

ESQ: I saw on the Twitter that you were getting ready to head to Ibiza with some friends this summer. Now what the hell is a man supposed to do when he runs into a bunch of supermodels in a place like that? Clearly not gonna sit in the corner, but it's almost impossible to get much further in a situation like that.